Crashjokes: A few one-liners

• Don't buy dollar-store fireworks because you won't get much bang for your buck.
• Tip to job hunters: a bookkeeper is not a librarian.
• Chasing dreams can be a nightmare!
• What happens when you do something half-assed twice?
• What do you call a fat person who swims naked?
• Don't irritate a woman wearing pointy-toed pumps.
• I'm so ugly that, for my birthday, I received a gift certificate for a plastic surgeon.
• My hair is so thin I could use it for floss.
• Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone, fart and you get some privacy!